Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Getcher Sexual, Lewd or Provocative Content Right Here!

Well, this is a fine vessel of vagina kettle of fish...

When I refreshed the look and feel of this place a couple of weeks ago, part of the process was a solicitation from AdSense to plunk down ads within the Friendly Confines. Never one to turn down the princely $1.78 per annum I would no doubt earn, I jumped through the hoops and applied.

This came back a few days later:

To: [Proprietors, Neddie Jingo International Hegemonic Tendency, LLC] 
Subject: Google AdSense Account Status
Hello, 
Thank you for your interest in Google AdSense. Unfortunately, after
reviewing your application, we're unable to accept you into AdSense at
this time. 
We did not approve your application for the reasons listed below:
- Adult content
---------------------
Further detail: 
Adult content: Currently, only Google ads that we classify as family-safe
are available through the AdSense program. We've found adult content on
your site. This includes text or images that contain sexual, lewd or
provocative content, and sites that require users to be at least 18, or
that may not be safe for work.
Rather insulted, I reviewed the Friendly C.'s archives for Japanese-schoolgirl upskirts, stiffened giblets, Barenaked Ladies Showing Everything, or anything else that might roust out the lubricious energies of innocent teens and those who would gleefully quash them in a school or place of work, and found pretty darned close to billy-o. Yes, we are a trifle intemperate here and there with our "frickin's" and our "gol-dangs," I'll confess. But gee whiz, if racy collections of glyphs were the only criterion for denying a man a decent livelihood through his embroidery, the entire Internet would consist of Enid Blyton extracts, nursery rhymes and Principia Mathematica. 

Then it struck me: Could they possibly be talking about the post from 2010 (it sat here at the top of the blog for eons while I was frying other fish) in which I limned a highly unlikely circumstance employing a tattooed lesbian, a Harley Davidson-branded marital device and a jealous husband -- a miracle of circumlocution and indirection, I thought at the time --  to set up one of the worst puns ever perpetrated on the human race?

Reluctantly I must conclude that this is the case. Clearly, an examination of pornographic Fifties dime-store novels and their influence on the impressionable minds of the young Beatles can't be to blame. Hyman Restoration comedy? Christmas trees in bondage? A trip to the hair salon that engendered unwholesome thoughts? Sexy, sexy laydeez in your mailbox to rot your children's minds? Nope. Gotta be that pun.

Frick it. I've clearly been played for a sucker. If putting up what any sane adult would view as perfectly wholesome content gets this place flagged as NSFW, then nothing is worth holding back any more. Might as well go whole-hog. Plunge into the filth, the muck, the slippery sleaze. The heck with your bourgeois propriety, AdSense, you bunch of dipsticky dookie-holes. It's not like everybody else isn't doing it...


5 comments:

ade said...

Phwoar!! Eh?? PWHOOOARRRR!!!!!

Neddie said...

My thorts exactly, Ade. Exactly.

XTCfan said...

Ade, I had no idea you liked Geraldo that much.

pwillow1 said...

Ewww, THANKS. I was hoping to avoid that Geraldo pic that's been polluting the web. Where did I put the brain bleach?

Superfluous Man said...

Neddie I was going to say maybe it has something to do with comparative literature or comparative bumper stickers. But then I thought some more. Those house pictures you had up on your infamous (to me anyway) house pictures. I've returned dozens of times to look at it, at least before the pictures came down that post that you quoted from John Bradford and that was somehow related to "Pilgrims's Progress" and that was entitled "Our Harvest being gotten in". Now those pictures of those houses. THOSE were pornographic in the worst kind of way. So I think your analysis fails, and for a totally different reason. People don't want to remember when they were trying to bring in their harvests.