Monday, June 12, 2006

It's Over

OK. So there's that done!

Those of you who said the hip surgery would be far worse in the anticipation than in the actual event were absolutely right.

I was given a spinal anesthesia along with the twilight general, and waking up a paraplegic was mighty weird indeed. In the recovery room, soon after the general wore off, I felt around on my lifeless lower half to assess the damage. I was mildly interested to note that the surgeons had left some kind of sponge, or perhaps a bundle of surgical gauze, in my lap. Not until a while later, having fumbled around with it for a bit trying to remove it to throw it away did I realize that it was attached to me -- it was my once-mighty Package.

Sensation did return to it, and the rest of my lower half, an hour later, but having that utterly dead hunk of gristle affixed to my loins was pretty unpleasant.

I'm home now, trussed and iced to the gills, in the bosom of my family, crutches and painkillers at the ready. I do have a dull, persistent ache on my left side, but it's nothing my excellent friend Vicodin and I can't handle. It feels no worse at the moment than a very bad sprain. The surgeon pronounced himself quite pleased with the procedure, saying that it shows every sign of success in the early stages.

So here on the couch will I stay for the next few days. I've hobbled about a bit, testing the limits on my mobility with crutches. I've realized that after six weeks of keeping every tiny bit of weight off my left leg, my right leg is going to become a tower of muscular power. Perhaps I'll rent it out for the World Cup.

My deepest thanks again to everybody who dropped in with words of encouragement. I hope that in a very short time I will be able to get my mind off my body and thinking about other more amusing and instructive stuff that I can share with you.

Right now: Typing hurts. I will stop for now.


cope said...

Welcome back to the land of the living, Ned.

Let the healing begin.

XTCfan said...

Yay! Glad it went well.

Though ... right leg, hell. After all that time on crutches, your upper body is going to be buff, my friend. I can't wait until you pick up a guitar again.

Employee of the Month said...

Cocoa? A nice piece of toast? Some ginger-ale?

Glad your here.

Blue Wren said...

Attaboy, Neddie. Snooze, wallow and heal. Welcome back!

blue girl said...


XTCfan stole my first word idea, which was "Yay!"

Oh well, I'll 2nd that...


Glad you survived, you ornery son of a bitch!

(Such crassness for BG, you say? I'm just trying to make a little headway through those painkillerz.


Rest up!

fgfdsg said...

Whoo hoo! Ever so glad you've made it.

I'm eagerly awaiting some drug-fueled ranting, especially since Deadwood just restarted.

Matt said...

My first word was "Yay," too. And I don't care if it's repetitive: YAY!!!

I'm very happy to hear that it went well. Thanks for taking the time to let us know you're okay; now, take it easy.

p.s. kinda scary that even in a post-op, drug-addled state, you can write circles round the best of 'em.

roxtar said...

It's nice to start the day with good news.

The Viscount LaCarte said...


Not until a while later, having fumbled around with it for a bit ...

A likely story.

Say "Cheers" to Alistair's bone.

Looking forward to lots of good posts during your recovery.

"abpgrx" - The sound a French Trombone makes while be played under the influnce of Vicodin...

Kevin Wolf said...

Excellent, Neddie. Very glad to hear all is going well.

So, do I understand the procedure correctly? Your left leg is now hollow in order to sock away more IPA?

Will Divide said...

You realize, of course, that the Twilight General will be taking command of Fort Jingo in a new effort from Washington to Turn Things Around, Goddamn it.

So better look sharp...

corndog said...

Echoing the chorus of "Yay" here as well, and hoping for a speedy recovery. For some reason, after reading this, I can't get the following lines out of my head:

"You became a part of a new breed
Been smokin' only the best weed
Hangin' out with the so-called Hippie set"

Enjoy the Vicodin and don't let the xdhws get you down.

Hieronymo said...

Hail mother motor! Hail piston! Hail wheel! Steam!

Hail retractor! Hail sucky tube thing! Hail brain-needle!

Hurrah for medical science!

handdrummer said...

Great news!
It'll be just a few short weeks until you're back kicking sanity in its butt just like the old days. (whenever the hell that was)

libster said...

Thought I wouldn't see your words here for a while. So glad you didn't yank on that pack of gauze n' stuff too hard!!

Anonymous said...

As long as your hanging with your excellent friend Vicodin, take the opportunity to record a bunch of Velvet Underground covers for that note of authenticity. White Light goin' up to my brain...

Highlander said...

In Season One of NYPD BLUE, there's a scene between John Kelly and his ex wife Laura. He'd given the stupid bint some sage advice a few eps earlier, and she'd ignored him, as Bochco/Milch female characters are wont to do with the men in their life (generates conflict that way, dontcha know). So there she was, having reaped the whirlwind, sitting chagrined on the catching bench, woefully admitting to her ex husband that yes, once again, he'd been absolutely right and she'd been absolutely wrong, same as it ever was, world without end, amen, amen.

John just kind of smiles and nods.

Laura blinks her cow's eyes at him in disbelief and asks, "What, not going to say I told you so?"

John murmurs, kindly, "Not the type."

Well... I'M the type.


Glad you're okay. But I had no doubt. I had, after all, put an impulse into the ether.

helmut said...

Dude, do not throw out the sponge!

Welcome back.

Lantern Bearer said...

November 1999, 54 years old, left hip was not recognizable.

Arrived at hospital at 5:00am. Prepped with a little tranquilizer, rolled to surgery suite, anesthesiologist introduces him self, and says "We are going to give you something to drop you off further." "Otay." Thirty seconds later (three hours earth time) they are wiping my mouth, pulling out tubes, and rolled me back to my room. I was able to feel the affected leg right away, I tightened some muscles lightly, I ran my hand over the long bandage and felt the lumps of the 45 metal staples. NO PAIN! Oh, morphine drip. Long story short - I was out of the hospital into rehab on day 3. I was out of rehab and sitting at home by noon on day 8. The hip is a Sulzer ball and cup. Twenty five days later , I am on an aircraft making the pre- 2K and home before "Holiday Trip". It was like getting a new life.

Lantern Bearer