Saturday, December 09, 2006

What the Thinking Man Is Thinking

The Buzzcocks were the thinking man's Clash. The Clash were the thinking man's Sex Pistols, and the Pistols were the thinking man's New York Dolls. The Dolls were the thinking man's Gary Glitter, and Gary Glitter was the thinking man's brother-in-law -- a fact that he's still trying to live down.

Audi is the thinking man's Volvo; however, unexpectedly, Volvo is also the thinking man's Audi. The Committee is working on that one. Airstream is the thinking man's Winnebago, when he can afford the gas. The alto saxophone is the thinking man's Stratocaster, but only when wielded by Ornette Coleman; in the hands of Charlie Parker, it becomes the thinking man's Les Paul.

Ontogeny recapitulates the thinking man's phylogeny, existence precedes the thinking man's essence, the personal is the thinking man's political, the Medium is the thinking man's Message, and a mighty fortress is the thinking man's Lord.

Women are the thinking man's chicks. The delectable skin of the throat is the thinking man's bodacious ta-ta, the graceful thigh the thinking man's Brazilian wax, the demure cleavage the thinking man's low-rider love-handles. Asses are the thinking man's tits.

The Epson Stylus CX5800F Inkjet Printer, Copier, Scanner, and Fax: Inkjet Printer (20 ppm Black, 19 ppm Color, 5760 x 1440 optimized dpi, 4" x 6" Photo in 48 seconds) -- $119.99 -- is the thinking man's Epson Stylus CX4200 Inkjet Printer, Copier, and Scanner: Inkjet Printer (20 ppm Black, 19 ppm Color, 4" x 6" Photo in 48 seconds, 5760 x 1440 optimized dpi) -- $125.99 with rebate.

George Clooney is the thinking man's puking little bitch.

11 comments:

Mark Smeraldi said...

A mind is a terrible thing to waste, so use it sparingly.

Tom said...

No love for Clooney, then, I take it?

cleek said...

thinking is the thinking man's staring-off-into-space

Andrew said...

George Clooney is the thinking man's Neil Patrick Harris. Discuss.

Derryl Murphy said...

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

D

The Crimson Letter said...

The/Crimson/Letter is The Crimson Letter's syllabification.
TheCrimsonLetter is The Crimson Letter's concatenation.
'TCL' is the The Crimson Letter's abbreviation.

Thinking is TCL's doing.
The work is TCL's reward.
The trees are TCL's forest.
The means are TCL's ends.
The journey is TCL's destination.

Being occupied is TCL's occupation.

Anonymous said...

Dr. Phil is the thinking man's Morton Downey Jr.

Andy Rooney is the thinking man's Larry the Cable Guy.

'Hardball' with Chris Matthews is the thinking man's Fred Flintstone.

Sunny Jim

chunkyStu said...

Orangina is the thinking man's Tang.

Ovaltine is the thinking man's Nesquik.

Coffee is the thinking man's hyperventilation.

Wine is the thinking man's pause button... Whiskey his full stop.

Devil's Rancher said...

Burning Man is the Thinking Man's Area Man.

Okay, so I got nuthin'.

Neddie said...

Burning Man is the Thinking Man's Area Man.

I'd have reversed the order, but either way it's pretty fuckin' funny.

And what -- no props at all for "Asses are the thinking man's tits"??? I'm still laughing!

MichaelBains said...

"Asses are the thinking man's tits"

Okay. Kudos on that one. Yes, sir, and Amy Sidaris is the thinking man's Michelle Pfeiffer.

But I'm thinking your thinking on Clooney is stinking. What's up with that?

Clooney is the thinking man's Ted Danson.