Sunday, September 05, 2010

Enquiring Minds Want to Know

I would like to propose a small gedankenexperiment...

Suppose a gentleman were to return home from work unexpectedly one day to find his wife in the arms of another woman. No, not the arms, exactly. Let us say the wife is presenting to her lover in the ventro-dorsal position. The Other Woman is preparing to to employ a somewhat intimidatingly large strapon dildo, and is about to get down to brass tacks, but no penetration has yet taken place.

Let us further postulate that the Other Woman's affect -- tattoos, perhaps, or a beer gut, or a patch-laden leather vest unremoved from her person -- suggest that she may have some involvement with motorcycle culture. Or, hell -- let's say the strapon is embossed with the logo of the Harley-Davidson corporation.

Then let us further hypothesize that the gentleman, perhaps understandably enraged at the sight, pulls from a hidden shoulder-holster a revolver, which he points at the interloper's head as he demands that she desist from this activity or she will find herself headless.

Can it be said, then, that the man has threatened to waste vagina-mountin' mama?

These and other, similar thoughts occupy the mind these days....

15 comments:

xjmueller said...

Geesh Neddie,
that's as bad as my wife describing a guy who predicts the future by reading his boogers: Nostrildamus. He nose the future. It's the long commute, isn't it?

Anonymous said...

everything ok at home, man??

Bobby Lightfoot said...

Whatever thorny existential postulations ensue, one can certainly surmise that the fellow gets the feeling that he should have been home yesterday, yesterday.

reincheque said...

Bad and all as that situation appears prima facie (I'll see your "ventro-dorsal" and raise you...), it harley justifies murder...

dwgs said...

There's pun involving 'country roads' in there but I'm not touching it (so to speak).

Neddie said...

Two minds acting as one, dwgs!

Mine involved a British rock star who is verbally abusive to his traveling staff, and involves something that rhymes (in more ways than one) with "Frank Luntz."

I went with this one because the rock-star setup was too long and, well, Frank Luntz.

alfred said...

Excellent blog.

Fancy the content I have seen so far and I am your regular reader of your blog.

I am very much interested in adding http://byneddiejingo.blogspot.com/ in my blog http://the-american-history.blogspot.com/.

I am pleased to see my blog in your blog list.

I would like to know whether you are interested in adding my blog in your blog list.

Hope to see a positive reply.

Thanks for visiting my blog as well !

Waiting for your reply friend !!!!!

dwgs said...

Yeesh, against my better judgement I clicked that link of Albert's (Alberts'? I never know where to put the possessive apostrophe when I type).
I advise you not to follow my lead. I now have a headache.

BreadBox said...

Groan.

racketmensch said...

I wanted to say something, but after reading through the comments, I guess I lost the thread... oh yeah -
"Hey, Hugh! Get off of McCloud!"
(Playboy mansion, Dennis Weaver)

Also my word verification is "pusses", so I got that going for me.

Anonymous said...

Neddie,


My name is Barbara O’Brien and I am a political blogger. Just had a question about your blog and couldn’t find an email—please get back to me as soon as you can (barbaraobrien(at)maacenter.org)

Thanks,
Barbara

apophasis said...

I miss your writing, Neddie. Especially the bits on history, both of music and on your area, which is close to where my grandparents live. Hope life is treating you well.

roger said...

thanks for the beautiful performance of "in my room." long ago. we have loved it for years now.

Anonymous said...

So this is how the illustrious Ned ended his long and entertaining blogging career - with an elaborately staged pun. Well, why not - one can understand one's tiring of it after awhile. Even though I don't visit that often, I always enjoy (and relate to) your perspective, and hope you come back to the fold someday.

Your brother in hip,
Tom

Unknown said...

Sit dogerall! Stay. Good boy.