Thursday, February 01, 2007

Kodak in the Autoclave

Hey, here's a little suggestion...

Are you bored at work? Feeling underutilized, not contributing your fair share down at the ol' Jay Oh Bee? Feel the need to take on a little extra labor, put in a few more hours, firmly affix the old schnozz to the grindstone?

Here's what to do:

Tell your employer you're planning to go on short-term disability for a month.

You know all that work that won't get done in your absence? Hey! I, your employer, have got a corking good idea! Do it all now, instead!

The only reason I haven't climbed a water-tower with an RPG launcher this week is that I'm so hammered on Percocet that I couldn't find a water-tower. I wonder -- entirely as a goofball exercise, and not with any actual concern for accuracy -- just what a quality expert would say about the Passion for Excellence my output has exhibited this week.

In other news, I've decided I'm going to bring my camera along to the operating theater Monday. I'm gonna slip it to a nurse or the anesthesiologist or somebody : Psst! When they get the femur dislocated, mind taking a few snapshots for the old Flickr page? Come on! It's reasonably sterile!

Not because I particularly want the photos, mind you. I just want to see what they say.


Blowing Shit Up With Gas said...

I bet if you asked the surgeon, he or she would agree to take pics for you. Those types are really into stuff like that. (They might not use your camera, though...)

(But dude...)

Mark Smeraldi said...

Its all being recorded anyway, so if you ask them nice they'll give you the movie. (I didn't ask.} Best o' luck.

Kevin Wolf said...

After my surgery, which involved joints for me as well, I would have been interested in seeing some photos. It just never occured beforehand.

I did get to see an X-ray of my shoulder, a kind of 3D image on a computer that you could "move through" front to back and front again. Very cool.

cleek said...


just thinking about it makes my skin crawl. it reminds me of those Joy Of Surgery shows my wife loves to watch. drives me out of the room every time. i am not comfortable with the insides of people.


roxtar said...

I'd be very surprised if they gave you any pictures until they were sure that the operation was a success, and that you weren't going to be suing them. If they give you a movie of your operation before you are 100% healed, let me know. I want to open a law office in the county with the world's most naive doctors.

Fred Roberts said...

As one who's been a surgical PA for 30 years, I don't see a problem. Video could just as easily demonstrate that there were no technical problems contributing to your (hypothetical) poor results (which aren't going to happen anyway). But I think you were talking about still photos anyway, n'est-ce pas? Surgeons take photos all the time, preop, postop, and intraop, and any of them could be subpoena'd at any time.

Will Divide said...

The dark shade of green I just turned does not match any of my outfits.

Donna said...

I don't know if I should say this, so of course I am going to! I've got a weird sense of humor. Both my sons were born cesarean and after the second one I decided I didn't want anymore kids and told the doctor while I was there to "tie my tubes." Since it was scheduled I was awake during the whole thing. No you don't feel anything from the diaphragm on down but you can hear everything and they give you the option to watch, I declined. Anyway, when they got to the tube tying part they were using a lazer to burn them closed and I said, "What's cookin', doc?" and everyone in the operating room turned to me and said, "EWWWWWW!" LOL