Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Pitchforks & Torches at Dawn

Pardon me while I emit copious streams of bile from every hole in my head...

A nose job in a hospital with a private nurse in attendance had been something of a rite of passage for Joan Asher's children. But when her fourth and last child was ready for her own rhinoplasty recently, Ms. Asher asked her to postpone it.

The financial markets were simply more out of whack than her 16-year-old's proboscis.

"The other noses were more prominent," the stay-at-home mother from a tony New York City suburb in Westchester County told her 16-year-old daughter. She could get hers done when things settled down.

The financial crisis on Wall Street has New York's well-to-do reeling....

5 comments:

Carl the Big Fool said...

Ye Gods. I've never met the writers of this article, or the editors who approved it, but they can all pretty much go fuck themselves.

BTW, Neddie, I name-dropped you in a music-and-women-related post a couple weeks ago, I'm guessing you didn't see it.

Larry Jones said...

What a bizarre article! Truly a "let them eat cake" moment. Yes, ready the pitchforks.

Anonymous said...

It's good to see average americans making these kind of hard economic choices. Of course, this will reduce revenue for the surgeon, leading to fewer jobs, lost wages, less spending, and then, ultimately, the collapse of the american economy and way of life. Upon reconsideration, I believe that the kid should get the nose job for the good of the country. Shoot, maybe she or someone else in the family could get breast augmentation too, just to make sure the economy keeps humming. Not to sure how good dad would look with enlarged hooters, but that's what putting country first is all about. - xjmueller

racketmensch said...

I didn't check but it's prolly not on itunes...
came as a square, flexible 45 rpm in Mad Magazine about 1965. Nose Job (what I can remember)

She got a nose job, she got a nose job
shnoz turned up instead of hangin down
She got a nose job, she got a nose job
Now she's the prettiest gal in town

She never had a guy to walk her home
and her future looked mighty bleak,
Now she's never left alone,
she overhauled her beak

Hey Neddie, look in your macmail spam folder after you check Carl's post; I have this feeling of being stuck between worlds. Like getting a bad checksum on the Enterprise transporter. Where I may really belong.

Neddie said...

Carl: I did miss it, I'm sorry. I've in a bit of an unemployed-weirdo-trying-(and-failing)-to-finish-a-book space, and I've been a bit, er, distrait.

Racketmesch: I have checked the spam folder, without success. It's the usual collection of Nigerian come-ons and old high-school friends who seem to think I will be swayed to vote for McCain because Obama's a Muslim. Did you send to the right addie? hbsherwood at mac dot com.