Wednesday, February 02, 2005

I Am Wearing Women's Clothing

Rifling through sock drawer this AM, found a pair of blue cotton mid-calf socks, donned same.

Realized, as donning took place, that socks possessed a snugness that suggested a delicate feminine foot with well-turned ankle, and not the Jingo Clodhopper. It was quite possible that Wonder Woman had misplaced her own hosiery in my sock drawer.

And maybe she did it on purpose! What sort of erotic cat-and-mouse game is being played out here, eh? Ooh-la-la!

Confession time: Instead of shrieking and recoiling and throwing the offending footwear across the room and reassuring myself of my manly hetero butchitude...I decided I'd go with it.

And so, my little cyberfriends, I'm coming out of the closet. You may now strike up some stripper music for the Great Revealing:

God, isn't that just so hot?

I know it's a slippery slope from here on out. Today some blue socks, tomorrow it's a t-shirt, a jacket that buttons right-over-left, Land's End felt clogs, perhaps even (thrills!) an Eddie Bauer parka with fluffy fur trim!

Worlds are opening up!


Postscript: Stripper Music

You know that archetypal piece of music that starts up whenever somebody starts a striptease -- all sliding glissando trombones and bump-and-grind drumming? What's that piece of music called? First to answer me gets a JPEG of my other foot....

And why can't Google or somebody, having come up with a search engine that's damned near black magic in its near-telepathic ability to find immediately exactly what you're looking for, come up with a search thingy where you hum something into your computer and it finds the tune you want? You know: "It's that one that goes de-dah-de-dum, de-dah-de-dum, de-DUM (pissssh!), de-DUM (pissssh!), de-DUM (pissssh!)... What's that called?

I demand answers.


XTCfan said...

I know it's called "The Stripper," and I think it's by David Rose. I think it was actually a #1 hit in the early '60s!

Please remove the sock before sending .jpg of other foot.

And remember, Brown Shoes Don't Make It.

Employee of the Month said...

In the movie "The Glenn Miller Story" starring Jimmy Stewart in the eponymous role there is a scene where his first (?) published song Moonlight Serenade is ruined by an evil, unwanted burlesque "arraingment". The drumming alone was Grandpa's Cialis.

Neddie said...

Loved that movie... Three clarinets, two baritone saxes, and a Theremin! No -- Two clarinets, one soprano and one alto sax, a vibraphone, and six violas! No, hang on: keep the Theremin, add a tuba, a triangle, and three bull fiddle players named Lou!