Thursday, September 20, 2007

Cook It Like a Man

Now that school has started, and Wonder Woman is shuttling Betty to a school rather far away, it has fallen to me to assume the duty of Family Chef.

I don't mind this at all; while no foodie, I'm quite a good cook. I haven't heard any complaints yet.

Tonight's main dish is a Beef Stroganoff, and as it simmers quietly away, I thought I'd share my recipe for one of my favorite repasts, which I was reminded of while preparing the Stroganoff....

What You'll Need
1 1.5-2 lb Slab of Beef. Top round, chuck roast, it's all good.
Flour
Oil or butter for sautéing
Salt
Your favorite beer

Cut the beef into bite-sized chunks.
Flour the chunks.
Fry 'em up. Don't overdo it. A little pink in the middle's even better.

And stop right there. You're done. Eat standing up, at the stove, preferably with your fingers. A little dash of salt for the chunks make them even more delicious. Drink the beer as you see fit. Two? Three? Nothing I can do to stop you.

I swear, I've eaten half my family's dinner like this. And I had to force myself to stop before eating it all.

12 comments:

gregra&gar said...

You are hilarious when you want to be. And, so, I'll bite, where does the term Stroganoff come into the picture?

Neddie said...

Ah, well, you see, all this is done before the Stroganoffification procedure begins. That involves some beef stock, some mushrooms, scallions, mustard, a little more flour, a quarter-cup of wine and some sour cream.

But if I weren't cooking for a family of four, if they all (Cthulhu forbid) disappeared tomorrow and left me a bachelor, that's what I'd eat every night.

Prolly contract scurvy within a few weeks...

david said...

A foodie is just someone who spends too much in culinary boutiques. You, my friend, are what we here in Montreal would call a gastronome.
ps when i were a kid we called it 'masturbating cow'.

EmployeeoftheMonth said...

While frying up a batch of Filipino lumpias, I too revert to full-on Dom Deluise mode ala "Fatso".

3/4 of the batch lost to what the retailers term "shrinkage".

Urp.


"Don't taste me, Bro."

Neddie said...

...masturbating...cow...

How thoroughly appetizing...

The Viscount LaCarte said...

er ... wouldn't it be a bull?

david said...

Appalling yes but I was twelve, okay? And "beef strokin' off" was pretty funny. I didn't say I was proud.

Kevin Wolf said...

I do the same, Neddie.

They do say (those "theys" that are always saying things) that you should nibble while cooking to reward yourself, test the food, get in the spirit of the meal.

In your case, perhaps an extra pound or two of beef added to the recipe?

Neddie said...

"beef strokin' off"

I laughed. Glub forgive me, I laughed.

david said...

See, I knew there was still a bit of a twelve year old Neddie in there somewhere.

giggles said...

Oh my god...You boys are so funny!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!

Tom said...

Sounds like an old recipe for a mint julep: fill a silver cup with ice, crush mint leaves on top, add sugar, then toss that crap and drink your bourbon straight up.