Saturday, April 18, 2009

Cat Skeletons

I once got into a conversation with a volunteer firefighter, at one of those open houses they hold to let local kids admire fire engines up close. As these things go, I inevitably came around to asking him if he'd ever rescued a kitten from a tree. He told me he hadn't, although people sometimes called to ask. Firefighters' time and equipment are far too valuable to waste on your little Mittens, and besides, he joked to my kids, "Look around your neighborhood. Look in the trees. Have you ever seen a cat skeleton in the branches?"

Word up, Mister Fireman. Hunger is a powerful motivator, and if the moggie can get up there, it can damned well get down when its little tummy starts to growl.

In the same vein, nor have I ever seen a cat skeleton in my music loft, but there's a first time for everything.

Here Lexie, who's been with us for about five months, discovers that that strange wooden contraption in the corner of the cabin is actually a portal to an entirely new dimension, one that she never dreamed of. O, Great Wooden Portal, which reminds me so much of a very disciplined tree, take me away to Great Adventures!

She takes advantage of the fact that the ladder is offset from the wall by just about exactly one Lexie-width... It's almost as if it was designed for cat-transportation!

Hmmm. What's my next move? You be careful, young lady!

And she's up!

From her New, Never-Before-Imagined Strange Extra Dimension, she surveys the vale of tears she has forever left behind!

I am now Ceiling Cat! Aren't you supposed to be masturbating?

Anything for you, hon.


Kate said...

Ah, but did she get down by herself? Our wards will climb anything. Kitties getting bored? Open a closet door!

David Harmon said...

I've seen a cat climbing a fire escape ladder, using vaguely similar methods (that is, between ladder and wall).

My own cat, Gremlin, is too old and fat to climb anything, but she makes me let her out front so she can lie in the sun and occasionally hiss at birds. Happily, she wouldn't know what to do with a bird if it flew into her mouth. Which it would almost have to....

Neddie said...

Of course she got down, Kate! Dinnertime came! But not until she'd had a luxuriant snooze on the lambskin seat cover at my computer station. Kitties know from comfort!

cleek said...

hilarious! :)

our cats recently discovered that the mysterious door in the kitchen leads to a previously unknown and very interesting room: the garage. they managed to open the door once day after one of us failed to close it fully. they got a few minutes of snooping around before we discovered them. and now they stand in front of the door and howl, all day long, for us to let them out.

not gonna happen, little indoor cats.

roxtar said...


you're totally zoned, aren't you?

Mona Albano said...

I thought this was going to lead to an interesting discussion of cat skeletons found between the walls---glad it didn't.

What's wrong with letting the cats into the garage, if the doors are closed and the car isn't running? In fact, if you are ambitious you could add a cat hutch either inside or outside of the garage (or both). The outdoor hutch would give them a sniff of the outdoors.

Some people give their cats the run of the garage and access to an outdoor run. Others have a dual hutch, so the cats can go out of the house to a garage hutch and then outside to an outdoor hutch--more stimulation.

Some friends built the whole structure, cat-door to wire-covered walkways through trees, down to ground, etc. so their cat could go out but not away.

Sarah Hall said...

Hi Mona, but I don't see a reason to built the whole structure, such as cat-door to wire-covered walkways through trees, down to ground, etc... It's too hard! Working for this paper writing service, I don't have enough sufficient time to do so!