Apple GarageBand Jam Pack 4: Symphony Orchestra

Jesus. Merry Ex-Muss to me! This daunting thing was under the tree, thanks to Wonder Woman...

How much do you want to learn, buddy?

Apple GarageBand Jam Pack 4: Symphony Orchestra. The whole goddamned shooting match is in here. Every instrument. Every fiddly little percussion dingus, every triangle and bell tree and chinese gong. First and second violins, violas, cellos and basses, horns and woodwinds, solo'ed and en masse, French horns, oboes, cor anglais, flutes, piccoloes.

In 45 minutes, I made this thing. Turgid and repetitive, I know, with only the barest evidence of musical literacy, but Dear God Almighty with my Macintosh I composed, conducted and recorded a (bad) one-minute piece for orchestra IN 45 MINUTES.

I tell you what this is. This is like being handed the keys to a goddamned Abrams tank with a jaunty wave and a singsong "y'all have fun, now, y'hear?" The responsibility is awesome, in the highest sense of that hackneyed word. You have at your fingertips something Ludwig Van would have committed quite a lot of The Old Ultraviolence to get his Teutonic mitts on: The ability to hear an orchestral piece as it's being composed. Ludwig Van had a huge fund of theory to fall back on, and an enormous talent combined with an encyclopedic knowledge of the instruments in a symphonic orchestra, but what he manifestly did not have was the ability to assemble two oboes, a viola and a flute on a moment's notice to try out this or that voicing or timbre.

O tempora! O mores!

So the question must be asked: How much do you want to learn, buddy?

How thoroughly do you want to immerse yourself in the ranges and timbres of the orchestral pallette? You have enough on your hands trying to make a little four-piece rock band not crash into itself -- now you want to try to tackle a full goddamned symphony orchestra?

Just like a mad dog you're chasing your tail in a circle....