Thursday, March 17, 2005

Faix & Begorrah

Begob, and it's afther bein' a fine day for the Reinforcin' o' the Stereotypes!

Gilliard doesn't quite nail it: St. Patrick's Day is fuckin' amateur hour, and that's what's so disgusting about it. A drinking gentleman can hold his damned liquor or he is quite properly shunned by friend and stranger alike.

However icky it gets out there, let's remember some sage advice for the 364 days every year that are not St. Patrick's Day, from Flann O'Brien, who by all accounts knew what he was talking about.

The Workman's Friend

When things go wrong and will not come right,
Though you do the best you can,
When life looks black as the hour of night--
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.

When Money's tight and is hard to get
And your horse has also ran,
When all you have is a heap of debt--
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.

When health is bad and your heart feels strange,
And your face is pale and wan,
When doctors say that you need a change,
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN

When food is scarce and your larder bare
And no rashers grease your pan,
When hunger grows as your meals are rare--
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.

In time of trouble and lousy strife,
You have still got a darlint plan,
You still can turn to a brighter life--
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.

The Plain People of Ireland want you to go read some more.

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