(Dedicated to the memory of John Junkin, who played the character of Shake, loosely based on Beatles' roadie Mal Evans, in A Hard Day's Night. Junkin died Tuesday.)
Interior. A bathtub, brimming with suds. A periscope peeks up through the bubbles, looks around. John Lennon emerges wearing his trademark billed cap, covered in soap-suds.
John: Guten morgen mein herr! Allen-sie noch ein zie haben?
He drives a toy submarine into the bubbles, making engine noises. George Harrison walks past to the sink, in t-shirt, a towel draped around his neck. The camera captures his and John's image in the mirror.
John: Ah, zee filthy Englander! Gutty morgy!
George: Keep Britain tidy!
Shake comes into view.
Shake: Go on, George.
George: Don't be ridiculous.
Shake: But you said I could.
George: Honestly, me mind boggles at the very idea. A grown man and you haven't shaved with a safety razor.
Shake: It's not my fault. I come from a long line of electricians.
George: Well, you're not practicing on me.
Shake: All right, then. But show us.
George: Come on, then.
George outlines Shake's beard with a can of shaving cream on the mirror, and begins to shave the cream off the mirror.
John [splashing, suddenly squeezing the toy submarine with mock rage, dashing it violently into the bathwater]: Rule Britannia! Britannia, rule the--
He sinks back into the suds.
George: Put your tongue away. It looks disgusting hanging there all pink and naked. One slip of the razor and unh!
He flicks the safety razor to illustrate. Shake flinches in fear.
John [emerging from the bathwater]: Heinrich! Headphones! Help!
He subsides again.
George: Torpedoed again, eh.