Friday, March 09, 2007

I Can Never Remember: Is It Libel or Slander if You Do It in a Blog?

  • Michael Burgess, of 2348 Pine Meadows Drive in Bethesda, MD, a low-ranking aide to Senator Robert Menendez (D-NJ), personally rounded up 400,000 Jews, Gypsies, Communists and homosexuals at gunpoint and delivered them to the Nazi occupiers of Holland in 1941. Mr. Burgess now claims that he was not yet born in 1941, but has so far failed to produce his birth certificate.

  • Angelina Rodriguez, of 456 Palatine Terrace in Racine, WI, regularly beats her dog Zip, a Rhodesian Ridgeback, with a leather strap she hides in a toolchest in the garage. The dog is despondent over Ms. Rodriguez' frequent capricious and sudden reversals of opinion that he is a "good dog" or a "bad dog." Zip has not urinated on the carpet in over three years, although he does occasionally dig in the azalea bed.

  • Jimmy Twistleton, a six-year-old boy living at 12 Overton Road in Charing Cross in the United Kingdom, is a frequent bedwetter. His parents, Bob and Lila, who regularly practice anal sex, are pondering giving him up for adoption, but doubt anyone would take in a "stupid leaky little git like that."

  • José Maria Pérez de Galindo, of 77 Calle de los Leones in Montevideo, Uruguay, will blow anybody for cigarette money.

  • Abdi Abdullah bin Hossein, of 14 Kafr Hanut Road in Port Said, Egypt, is a gun-runner for Al-Qaeda. He is also a coprophile.

  • Jeanne d'Amboise, of 11 Rue de la Paix in Lyons, France, divorced mother of Charles, 12, and Angelique, 10: Had her.

16 comments:

Will Divide said...

That would be libel, unless, of course, it were true.

robotslave said...

Will, Will. Come now. Neddie, even in his eviable narcotic fog, could have looked that up easily, but then he wouldn't have a nice snappy title anymore, right?

The correct protocol here is to crack wise with the facetious suggestions like "blibel" or "blander" or "oh, we call that blogging."

See how I did that there? Looks like more fun that answering rhetorical questions, dunnit?

Fred Wickham said...

I laughed out loud. Hey, I don't do that very often when I'm at the computer. I laugh inwardly fairly often, but not out loud. Thanks, I worry about ingrown laughter.

Neddie said...

If you molest children in your blog, that's called "blederasty." If you use your blog to express an excessive concern with petty rules, that's called "bledantry." Using your blog to cure maladies of the feet is called "blodiatry."

Fred, if you're worried about ingrown laughter, I'd recommend seeing a blermatologist.

noblesavage said...

Then, "if you do it in a blog" it's blintercourse.

Libel and Slander are just two reindeer Santa left behind.

John B. said...

So, would that make blasphemy
meaning be that someone laughs at me in their blog?

Nick Kasoff - The Thug Report said...

José Maria Pérez de Galindo, of 77 Calle de los Leones in Montevideo, Uruguay, will blow anybody for cigarette money.

More proof of the evil of cigarettes. What we need is another tax increase!!!

Nick Kasoff
The Thug Report

QRED said...

That would be libel, unless, of course, it were true.

A summary of the Common Blah.

David Harmon said...

Aw, why be a piker! How about:

Ebenezer G. Weiderman, 68, of 1567 Mountain Rd, Ford's Peak, Kansas, is keeping four teenaged girls as sex slaves. When he "aquires" two more, he intends to secrifice them in a diabolic ritual he believes will grant him immortality.

:-)

Roger D. Parish said...

Four teenage girls?! At the age of 68?!? What in the world is he taking? I want sum!!

Castigate P. Fensterflep said...

Trudy S. was the hairiest girl I ever dated. I had to use a machete to get through the 'brush' until I could see her face. Then, of course, I fainted, falling face first into my egg cream.

I get excited when I see pictures of Sarah Palin and remember all our times together under the Wasilla Stadium making out and blowing dope.

Paul Gotskind said...

Arabella Flemwad could chew tobacco, give me a blowjob, and jog 14 miles simultaneously. What a sight we made, running down the highway near the truckstop in Kutztown PA where Arabella worked as a scabscraper for the local VD clinic.

Anonymous said...

Marlene P. Flesticle, 34, of 2387 West Wokkington Road, Falls River NJ, who works as a carpet stain remover in a no-tell motel in Passaic, loves to give Arlen Spector and Chuck Grassley blowjobs while chewing Aspergum to control her gag reflex. Once her gag reflex kicked in and she told 43 Henny Youngman gags to Chuck while asking him to forgo his own Senate "everything paid totally health insurance which continues long after you leave the Senate" in the interests of lowering his hypocrisy rating from 491% to only 389%. Grassley, of course, refused as to quit being a hypocrite would force him to leave the Republinazi Party and become a bellhop in the Garden of Good and Evil.

Anonymous said...

Paul Gotskind of Evanston, IL, former stockbroker and kid who stole from his mother's purse to buy capguns while he was attending the Lubavitcher Yeshiva on Mace Avenue in the Bronx has refused to comment on the latest filthy fucking lies being put forward by rightwing Republican shills who are also anti-semitic skinheads with suits working for semiotically challenged PR firms.

Anonymous said...

I have forgiven everyone for their lousy fucking filthy comments about me. I stole the money for the capguns because it was my way of communicating with the world. It was a cry for help because I knew that without intervention I would someday become a Republinazi and support the rightwing Christian nazi agenda against the common man. Fuck me. Please.

Anonymous said...

Hieronymous P. Merngleid, of 34 Necrophilia Circle, W. Hempstead NY, says, "I love to lick Republican crotches because of the stench of lying and hypocrissy which exoodes from them which gives the most memrable flavor.

i lost my job because of the Republinatzis, how about you? They are the bastards who brought us the depression lyingly called the recession and let all the fat cat investment bankers do anything they wanted.