Monday, October 31, 2005

I Have Seen the Future

If the pigs hadn't busted all the cameras, the Harridans would have looked just like this.

...But it's not all bad down at the WashPost. This review, under the byline of W. C. Slavery De L'Egout, appeared in early editions of this morning's Post. Mysteriously, it disappeared from later editions -- spiked, apparently, by Eldritch Forces with agendas to foster.

I don't fuck much with the past, but I fuck plenty with the future, snarled a young Patti Smith before her coruscating band chainsawed its gnarlgnashing way into "Babelogue."

Last night at Jay's in Arlington, Past and Future met, clashed, chewed each other to benzedrine shreds, and went home together arm in arm for abandoned and exalted copulation. The Harridans, who deserve the well-worn epithet "The Future of Rock and Roll" better than any White Stripe you'd care to name, Came, Saw, Conquered and Made It Their Bitch. These guys, who come on like a bunch of sixteen-year-old punks on a meth power trip, are never anything less than high, wild and raw, like a ghost train out of Memphis with a coalcar full of rage and a boiler full of bourbon.

This trio from Hell's Half Acre by way of Muscle Shoals and Beale Street, is comprised of Neddie Jingo on guitar, Bobby Lightfoot on back-ass bass, and the grammatically eager Xtcfan on skins. Not drums, just skins; he hangs various pelts around him -- one of them suspiciously hairless -- and harasses them rhythmically, like a tormented Quasimodo in a Parisian alley. Last night at Jay's, these three refugees from the Mean Streets of Gehenna set out to raise the devil. Tell you this, baby: they got him at least three feet off the ground.

The measure of the success of any spontaneous bacchanal is the degree to which it pisses off The Man, and this night was no exception. Fornicating couples in the street -- some even blocks away -- tipped off the Joy Patrol that somebody, somewhere, was having more than the Allotted Ration of fun, and busted the door down at 1 AM. I ducked out the back way to file my story, and my last view of the Harridans was of Neddie Jingo swinging his blond Epiphone Casino like a battle-axe at Arlington's Finest, Bobby Lightfoot administering the Wilford Brimley Treatment on the Former Hill Staffer who'd filed the original complaint, and X'fan, looking like Rufus T. Firefly, keeping time with mallets on the heads of brawlers at the bar.

I have seen the Future, and it is The Harridans.


Thanks for coming out to Corndog (go read his review; he says what modesty compels me to stifle), the lovely Sylvia, Greg and Heather, John, Jeff & Pia, and most extra-special thanks to the lovely and talented Bob Crain, who selflessly ran sound and crawled around on the floor a lot. Thanks for the loan of that midblowing Marshall amp! Oh -- and not to forget that, er, corpulent individual in the low-cut chemise who kept Jay busy in the back alley while we cleaned out the cash register. The crank we bought with the takings will keep us going until the next gig.

Podcast coming ASAP, but not this week.


XTCfan said...

"is comprised of"?

"is comprised of"?

Oh, I'm so disappointed in you.

That said, let me also add my thanks to all who came, as well as to all who came.

Rufus T. Firefly? That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.


Neddie said...

Ah, the grammatically eager xtcfan... Dude: YOU BIT!!!!!! Hook, line & sinker!

As Nelson Muntz might put it: "Ha-ha!"


Anonymous said...

Not sure you would describe me that way if you saw this!

Bobby Lightfoot said...

Sweet. This is comprised of shit that is bananas. Um, sorry about that one thing.


The viking Walt Whitman.

XTCfan said...

Fully realized it was a ploy, but didn't want to disappoint, my friend...


XTCfan said...

Or, for that matter, disappoint my friend.


Anonymous said...

What are those amps in the pic -- Sunn half-stacks?

Ooh. Terrible, terrible. I think that's a Sunn Sorado bass head there.

Neddie said...


That photo's a detail from an album cover -- the whole thing's here -- which makes it look like Carl Perkins would do anything for money in 1959. Colonel Tom might have put Evvis up for some horrible, awful disgraceful movies, but Carl allowed himself to plug into the same amp as his rhythm guitarist, fer crissakes.

LOOK AT BOB WOOTTON'S HAIR in that picture!!!!!! Goddamned gorgeous.

hnloc -- honey, take your key of love and hnloc my heart

Anonymous said...

Neddie, you got any of that crank left? This damned Celexa is kicking the Kerouac right out of my soul and I think I need to fight back.

Anyway, thanks again for the use of your fine ax and for all the great music. Anytime you need a rhythm guitarist/roadie/fawning toady, please think of me.


Anonymous said...

The Harridans are okay. I remember seeing them in 1958, before they released their first album. Even then, the whole crank an' bourbon act was getting a little old.

They did have an unreleased track consisting of nothing but xtcfan rubbing against the drum pelts, as Neddie Jingo and Bobbi Lightfoot played "Yankee Doodle Dandy" on kazoos. That was pretty good. It kind of presaged Ashlee Simpson's blue period, only with bigger licks and more vibration.

Neddie said...

Ashlee Simpson had a blue period?!?!?


Once I took some antibiotics that made me pee orange, was it one-a those deals?

dnapg! Deoxyribonucleic acid in Princ Georges County!

XTCfan said...

I have some Super 8's from Ashlee Simpson's blue period (you've got it all wrong, Ned), and believe me, ain't no way anything had bigger licks and more vibration. Phwoar!

dquobnsk (a small town in Eastern Europe where they make these types of blue films today)

Anonymous said...

but Carl allowed himself to plug into the same amp as his rhythm guitarist, fer crissakes.

Oh god, you're right. Oh Jesus.

I looked for it and couldn't find it, but someplace on the Web there exists a photo of me at 18 or so, playing a perfectly decent Rick 4001 through a Sunn Sorado head.

Perfect exhibit, that photo, because I'm in mid-song fiddling with the knobs of that horrible crap amp that sucked and was stupid.

God, those amps suck.

Anonymous said...

"chainsawed its gnarlgnashing way"

Proves the adage that given an infinite amount of time, a monkey would type the whole works of Shakespear. But given a keyboard, an idiot can still type drivel.