Friday, May 06, 2005

Audience Participation Time II

I humbly apologize for the anticlimactic nature of the last contest I held. Some weeks ago I offered up three free iTunes Pepsi caps to the Rock Snob who could come up with the most coruscating three-song playlist.

Well the concept, though scintillating at first blush, suffered from one Tragic Flaw: I didn't know 95% of the songs you Snobs came up with, and I was goddamned if I was gonna wear my earbones to nubbins trying to plow through the AllMusic Guide (which sucks anyway) looking up all the anodyne Rock-Snob bands you guys came up with.

So those three iTunes bottle caps still gather dust next to my monitor -- and now they've been joined by five more, for a grand total of eight!

Now for eight - count 'em, eight! free iTunes songs, you're gonna hafta work a little harder.

This morning on the drive in, my vision went blurry and I began to twitch as though afflicted with St. Vitus' Dance (not a thing you want happening at 65 MPH on the Berlin Turnpike) and my mouth opened and I started spouting a stream of French!

I don't speak French!

But luckily for all of us, I do carry a little Dictaphone thing around with me , and I had the presence of mind to turn it on and capture this mysterious stream of Francophone gibberish.

Here's the deal: The first Jingo Acolyte to come up with an explanation of What The Hell This Thing Is, wins the eight caps. Put your answers in the Comments section.
Ain eux France Harold le bord
Mais ni mort eau dame
L'Yves n'est-ce d'or
En de bain b├ęguine te plait!

Oui, Olive! En eux y'a l'eau sur ma Rhine
Y'a l'eau sur ma Rhine
Y'a l'eau sur ma Rhine

A-ce oui l'hiver l'oeille faux vise
Ai veux rit ou-en aux vase
A sole oui ni
Ce-qu'aille eau bleu, en-si Augrine
Y n'art y'a l'eau sur ma Rhine!

Oui, Olive! En eux y'a l'eau sur ma Rhine!
Y'a l'eau sur ma Rhine!
Y'a l'eau sur ma Rhine!


Martin said...

A bastard French alliteration of "Yellow Submarine"

Neddie said...

Oui a va oui-en-aire!

Martin, send your mailing address to neddiejingo at aol dot com, to receive your eight iTunes bottlecaps!

The rest of you clowns, I know from my server logs what city Martin surfs in, so don't try any monkey business.

Bobby Lightfoot said...

just like that it's over? What about my translation that I've been slaving over? I'm going to post it anyway:

In watery France Harold is table
Not even the death of a watery lady
The designer is not gold
Nor becomes silver in the bath

Yes, Olive! In watery water on my Rhine
And the water on my Rhine
And the water on my Rhine

I say yes the winter sees fake oil
Placed in a water vase
I alone, yes, say "ni"
Where there is water blue, like in Augrine
And the painting and the water on my Rhine

Yes, Olive! In watery water on my Rhine
And the water on my Rhine
And the water on my Rhine

I hope it's not too late. You see, the 8-song iTunes-only Ricky Martin Sings Radiohead collection beckons.

Also, martin thinks the french are bastards.

ade said...

I think Bobby's just written the lyrics to a new Cardiacs track!

Employee of the Month said...

Oh, by the by, the iTunes Pepsi promo is over, mighty generous Neddie.

Neddie said...

Accordion to the iTunes Store, "free song redemption in the iTunes Music Store ends 11:59:59 pm PST on 5/23/05."

And doesn't "free song redemption" sound like the title of some overwrought Sixties political song? Maybe Jefferson Airplane?

The Man can take away your species being
And grind you in the dirt
But you've got free song redemption
So his hardest blows don't hurt...

Employee of the Month said...

Why wasn't I informed? Heads will roll.