Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Keepin' It Surreal

So Waste Management, Inc., told me they wanted fifty of my hard-earned dollars a month for the privilege of gathering up my carefully cultivated collection of non-compostable maggots and styrofoam and carting it to the Loudoun County Landfill.

Well, shuck that fit, as the Man once said.

I do it myself. It's on the way to work, fercryinoutloud.

The way it works is, on arrival you drive up onto a scale that weighs your vee-hickle. Then, after you've put your carefully cult. coll. into the dumpsters provided, you drive back onto the scale. The difference between weight going in and weight going out is what they charge you for. Usually about four clams for about a month's worth of trash. Nice savings.

When you arrive they hand you a card with a number printed on it, which you hand back when you get weighed. This card gets recirculated each time another car comes in. Gets seen by probably a hundred people a day.

In line to get weighed on the way out, I took a pen and wrote
in small letters on the card.

Practicing Random Senseless Acts...


Employee of the Month said...

Oh great, now Google will think your the world's authority on bush nipples.

Anonymous said...

Does that mean he can't play Titty Bingo?

Anonymous said...

But does he have turkey li'l pitties?