Thursday, June 16, 2005

Practice Makes Perfect

Some while ago I was at a traffic light behind Wiccie the Witch, and I fixated on one of her many bumperstickers.

PRACTICE RANDOM KINDNESS AND
SENSELESS ACTS OF BEAUTY

Well, certainly not an imperative that I have much of a problem with, I daresay. World would be a much nicer place, and all that.

But old Johnny Editor, that part of my brain that just can't goddamned leave well enough alone, sneakily took a pair of mental scissors and lopped off half the sticker. Wow. That's much better -- much more in keeping with the Jingo Weltanshauung, innit:

PRACTICE RANDOM
SENSELESS ACTS

So that's what adorned the dear old Prizm until I had to give it up for the Mullethead Truck last summer.

But I'm itchin' for another one just like it.

I like that: Practice the senseless acts. I don't want you to commit them -- just work on your delivery.

6 comments:

Devils Rancher said...

One of my best friends here in Austin (Moved to Maryland to drive trains a couple years ago, so look out at the crossings!) had a fair-sized batch made up that read:

Practice Careless Acts
of Senseless Randomness.

They were semi-popular for a while, hereabouts.

We've had a couple of hand-crafted bumper sticker trends here, where a certain popular sticker is cut up and rearranged to say whatever fancies the driver. A band called "Titty Bingo" distributed thousands of stickers every year during SXSW, and they became the target of much letter re-orienting, to humorous effect. I must have seen a hundred different varieties, including "Big ol titties" and "Shitty Band," because apparently, they sucked. My greatest regret when I finally sold my 1979 Chevy 4x4 pickup (really-- it HAD to go.) was that I was unable to save my "Billy and the Boingers" sticker that I had put together from at least 4 of theirs. It took me hours, toiling under lamplight with an ever-dulling matte knife, but it was worth it for the smiles in the rear-view window, and the lovely note someone left on my windshield, telling me I'd made their day.

Bobby Lightfoot said...

i got one says "hey eat this amigo".

took some work to get that out of "yeah, it's got a hemi"

Employee of the Month said...

ooooh Neddie, seldom a day goes by that I don't dream up a bumper sticker I want on the old testicle-dragger.

Yesterday's was:
Junior Jestering Is Grueling

The Viscount LaCarte said...

I remember seeing one in NY back in the late 80's that said "Nuke the gay whales for Jesus."

My current favorite: "It's YOUR hell. YOU burn in it!"

devils rancher said...

One I'd need to do actual artwork for (can you DO that?) would have a giant

WWJD

with a tiny "what would Judas do?" underneath it.

Neddie said...

I have a t-shirt:

WWJD
(in much smaller type)
for a Klondike Bar?