Friday, August 19, 2005

What Can a Poor Boy Do?


Not a fucking penny are you getting from me, you wrinkly amoral sacks of shit

Well, it's not like I was going anyway.

Jesus, the thought of sitting in RFK Stadium, gettin' my Sixties on with forty thousand people I loathe, squinting at a bug-sized little Mick Jagger doing that tired rooster-on-acid crap while all around me completely sober 50-year-old attorneys on comped tickets from the fuckin' American Bankers Association go "woo!" and raise the devil-horns -- nah. Not for the Jingster. My kids don't need to see their pop carted off to chokey for mass slaughter.

I remember in the early Eighties (Tattoo You? Dirty Work? Who knows?) being quite nonplussed at the fact that the Stones had a corporate sponsor -- Budweiser -- for their tour. That was new. That was, I think they'd call it, "creative." 'Cos in sleepy London Town there's just no place for a Budweiser man! was what would have appeared in my derisive blog-post back then. Mick and Keef might have pointed out to me that they needed the extra whipout to pay for the logistics of a gigantic tour, and I might have pointed out back to them that the $30 a pop* they were charging for ducats might fill that need if the Glimmer Twins scaled back on the $10,000,000 they paid themselves.

But what the fuck. I'm just some quaint crank who thinks that rock-and-roll oughtta be some kind of transgressive deal. More stupid me. That went the way of gaslight and spats yonks ago.

Still and all, things have reached some kind of Rock Bottom (heh) when Their Satanic Majesties whore themselves out to strike a sponsorship deal with Ameriquest, one of history's rottenest predatory lenders, who are engaged in an all-out, mindbendingly expensive effort to whitewash their image. Ameriquest has dropped $1.5 million into Arnold Schwarzenegger's campaign treasury, along with plenty of other politicos from both sides of the aisle and, of course, Preznit George, who's named Roland Arnall, Ameriquest's top executive, to the ambassadorship of the Netherlands. That sorta vigorish will buy you plenty of forgiveness -- what's a little flim-famming the rubes between friends?

At the opening gig, Arnold himself, of course, will be hosting $100,000 contributors in a luxury box "contributed" by Ameriquest. Picture that shit? Whee-ooo! Catchin' the Stones with Arnold! He-ah him vip de vimmin chust around midnight! -- fist in the air -- I say ja, ja, ja -- VOOOO!

"Sweet Neo Con." It kinda rocks. I really, really enjoyed downloading it off LimeWire. "The Rolling Stones Call George Bush 'Full of Shit.'"

Takes one to know one, boys.

-----
*That was Serious Scratch in them days, chilluns. Truss me.

17 comments:

XTCfan said...

I know it's only rock 'n roll ... but I still don't like it.

Linkmeister said...

For some of us, $30 for entertainment still is, unless it's a book we can re-read or two CDs we can replay.

Kevin Wolf said...

Excellent post, Neddie - but I hereby take back my recent request for more politically-oriented posts. It's all too ugly, too unseemly, too much a blight on the modern American landscape.

Like the Rolling Stones.

blue girl said...

I can't slam the Rolling Stones like you guys. Just can't. BUT!

Did you read that link about "Sweet Neocon?"

It says Keith Richards is "worried."

Really? Do you believe this? Has Keith Richards ever been worried about anything?

I just find that a strange quote.

Matt said...

Jesus, the thought of sitting in RFK Stadium, gettin' my Sixties on with forty thousand people I loathe, squinting at a bug-sized little Mick Jagger doing that tired rooster-on-acid crap while all around me completely sober 50-year-old attorneys on comped tickets from the fuckin' American Bankers Association go "woo!" and raise the devil-horns -- nah. Not for the Jingster. My kids don't need to see their pop carted off to chokey for mass slaughter.

They might not rock any more, Neddie, but you sure as hell do. That paragraph should be bronzed and enshrined in the Blogger's Hall of Fame. Cause that is some Serious Scratch.

Neil Shakespeare said...

LOL! I can't believe those guys still aren't over the hill. Christ, how high is the hill?

res publica said...

I heard about this on Markeplace or some such NPR show. I'm not a huge Stones fan - great music, but I grew up in the 80s, so...you know...my musical taste was ruined.

Anyway - this is an amazing commentary on a sad, sad story.

Bobby Lightfoot said...

I stiiiill can't belieeeeeve what that baaaastard did to Jerry Haaaall.

I never forgave those two for murdering Brian Jones. That was cold. It's not like they couldn't afford their own smack.

ade said...

Keef should be worried about his fingers. They look like half a pound of Lincolnshire sausages.

Always Confused said...

They have had free advertising for days..put up a Vioxx ad or something and get their mugs off the call up screen..

MJS said...

Hey, Jingster: I'm the Jivester (found you via blog bites)...your disdain rocks! Here's a rapidly cobbled together rock 'n roll song using (gasp) your words!

JINGSTER AND THE ROLLING STONES

Sitting in RFK Stadium, gettin' my Sixties on with forty thousand people I loathe…woo-woo, woo-woo
Sitting in RFK Stadium, gettin' my Sixties on with forty thousand people I loathe…woo-woo, woo-woo
Jingster and the Rolling Stones

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my age


50-year-old attorneys on comped tickets from the fuckin' American Bankers Association goin’ "woo-woo, woo-woo"
50-year-old attorneys on comped tickets from the fuckin' American Bankers Association goin’ "woo-woo, woo-woo"
Jingster and the Rolling Stones

Please don’t leave me
Don’t you go


Squinting at a bug-sized little Mick Jagger doing that tired rooster-on-acid crap
Man, he should leave me alone, go and take a nap
Gotta give credit where credit is due
Gotta hit hard with an APR
Gotta give the devil his due

Hey, Ameriquest: I don’t want to be your beast of burden
No, no
I don’t want to be your beast of burden
woo-woo, woo-woo

Sometimes I want to say to myself
Sometimes I want to say…


Sitting in RFK Stadium, gettin' my Sixties on with forty thousand people I loathe…woo-woo, woo-woo
Sitting in RFK Stadium, gettin' my Sixties on with forty thousand people I loathe…woo-woo, woo-woo
Jingster and the Rolling Stones

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my age


50-year-old attorneys on comped tickets from the fuckin' American Bankers Association goin’ "woo-woo, woo-woo"
50-year-old attorneys on comped tickets from the fuckin' American Bankers Association goin’ "woo-woo, woo-woo"
Jingster and the Rolling Stones


+++

Neddie said...

Can I take just a moment to wipe an eye and raise a lit Bic overhead (although it's Glo-sticks now, isn't it?) and loose a whoop for MortalJive for...

THE BEST COMMENT EVER RECIEVED IN THIS FORUM!

(Except maybe Employee of the Month in the Ghost Post. That one rocked pretty hard too.)

Neddie said...

We might also issue jeers for the WORST VIOLATION OF THE "I BEFORE E" RULE just north of here.

Matt said...

Hey Neddie, here's the postscript to your story (via Crooks and Liars).

Matt said...

Here's an even better summary.

Employee of the Month said...

From this morning's paper...

The Rolling Stones play the MGM Grand Garden arena on Nov. 18. Prices are $131.25, $262.50 $367.50 and $472.50. Tickets go on sale at 10 a.m. Saturday at the arena box office, 3799 Las Vegas Blvd. South, and through Ticketmaster. To charge by phone, call 474-4000.

No thanks

Weedy said...

Found a lot of useful info on your site about Rolling Stones - thank you. Haven't finished reading it yet but have bookmarked it so I don't lose it. I've just started a Rolling Stones blog myself if you'd like to stop by