What Can a Poor Boy Do?

Not a fucking penny are you getting from me, you wrinkly amoral sacks of shit

Well, it's not like I was going anyway.

Jesus, the thought of sitting in RFK Stadium, gettin' my Sixties on with forty thousand people I loathe, squinting at a bug-sized little Mick Jagger doing that tired rooster-on-acid crap while all around me completely sober 50-year-old attorneys on comped tickets from the fuckin' American Bankers Association go "woo!" and raise the devil-horns -- nah. Not for the Jingster. My kids don't need to see their pop carted off to chokey for mass slaughter.

I remember in the early Eighties (Tattoo You? Dirty Work? Who knows?) being quite nonplussed at the fact that the Stones had a corporate sponsor -- Budweiser -- for their tour. That was new. That was, I think they'd call it, "creative." 'Cos in sleepy London Town there's just no place for a Budweiser man! was what would have appeared in my derisive blog-post back then. Mick and Keef might have pointed out to me that they needed the extra whipout to pay for the logistics of a gigantic tour, and I might have pointed out back to them that the $30 a pop* they were charging for ducats might fill that need if the Glimmer Twins scaled back on the $10,000,000 they paid themselves.

But what the fuck. I'm just some quaint crank who thinks that rock-and-roll oughtta be some kind of transgressive deal. More stupid me. That went the way of gaslight and spats yonks ago.

Still and all, things have reached some kind of Rock Bottom (heh) when Their Satanic Majesties whore themselves out to strike a sponsorship deal with Ameriquest, one of history's rottenest predatory lenders, who are engaged in an all-out, mindbendingly expensive effort to whitewash their image. Ameriquest has dropped $1.5 million into Arnold Schwarzenegger's campaign treasury, along with plenty of other politicos from both sides of the aisle and, of course, Preznit George, who's named Roland Arnall, Ameriquest's top executive, to the ambassadorship of the Netherlands. That sorta vigorish will buy you plenty of forgiveness -- what's a little flim-famming the rubes between friends?

At the opening gig, Arnold himself, of course, will be hosting $100,000 contributors in a luxury box "contributed" by Ameriquest. Picture that shit? Whee-ooo! Catchin' the Stones with Arnold! He-ah him vip de vimmin chust around midnight! -- fist in the air -- I say ja, ja, ja -- VOOOO!

"Sweet Neo Con." It kinda rocks. I really, really enjoyed downloading it off LimeWire. "The Rolling Stones Call George Bush 'Full of Shit.'"

Takes one to know one, boys.

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*That was Serious Scratch in them days, chilluns. Truss me.