Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Swag!


A lashing of swag will free your doubtful mind and melt your cold, cold heart.

Sure, Rosie O'Donnell might toss a contemptuous quarter the way of many a blogger with a sneered "Dance, boy! Dance!" Other blog-floggers might put up PayPal tip-jars and hope for the best.

But not the Jingmeister. No, sir. Here in the Jingosphere we have True Patriots, gallant yeomen like our most excellent friend Sluggo from Snail Races, who sends us the fruit of his own labors in what can only be described as the year's most felicitous expression of the Feudal Spirit.

Are these not the loveliest handmade objects you have seen this or any other year? Two mugs, two Christmas ornaments, and an authentic Colonial-style inkwell. All of these will find happy homes here in the Jingo household.

My most grateful thanks to Sluggo, or whatever name it pleases him to post under this week (there have been many).

The rest of you slugabeds may well indeed perceive an implicit rebuke: where are your feudal packages, I'd like to know?

I'm an XL shirt, hat 7 3/4, 8 1/2 shoe, waist 34, inseam 30. I favor earth tones, and also love collecting pictures of dead US politicians. Love Lincoln, Grant; crazy about Franklin.

Get hopping!

7 comments:

Employee of the Month said...

Ned, Walt Kelly?

ifbgukny - the ifbgukny river feeds into the lower manassas

Sir Eglamour said...

dude, the wreath looks upside down to me.

Neil Shakespeare said...

Sheez! You get gifts?! Or are those bribes? Gotta admire your transparency, however. Show 'em what you got and shamelessly beg for more. The Oliver Twist gambit. And hey, what do you have against Jackson? And Washington's just too small for you now, isn't he?

XTCfan said...

Geez, and I had all these pictures of Alexander Hamilton I was going to send your way ... I know he's too much of a Federalist for you.


yekhuop (sorry, nasty cold)

MJS said...

JINGO NEDDIE HO!

Deep inside the grizzly den
In hovel, cave and muck
Awash in flotsam's madness
An ode to jetsam's pluck

A shelf surrendered there within
And on the shelf, in fragment's clutch
Swag that came of swagger's punch
Swag unto the darkened hutch

Cobbled from the finest oak
Soddered iron sparks the lingo
For your swag, you deathless hearty
Another song, By Neddie Jingo!
By Neddie
By Neddie Jingo
By Neddie Jingo, Jingo Neddie ho!
By Neddie
By Neddie Jingo
By Neddie Jingo ho!
By Neddie
By Neddie Jingo
By Neddie Jingo, Jingo Neddie ho!
By Neddie
By Neddie Jingo
By Neddie Jingo, Jingo Neddie ho!

Pendants broken, maiden's junket
Adventures stored in ancient urns
Scrape about the piled plunder
Strike a match and see what burns

Deep inside the bosun's grotto
Flames do flicker on the hollows
Hold your dearest to your heart
For none can say what is to follow

Cobbled from the finest oak
Soddered iron sparks the lingo
For your swag, you deathless hearty
Another song, By Neddie Jingo!
By Neddie
By Neddie Jingo
By Neddie Jingo, Jingo Neddie ho!
By Neddie
By Neddie Jingo
By Neddie Jingo ho!
By Neddie
By Neddie Jingo
By Neddie Jingo, Jingo Neddie ho!
By Neddie
By Neddie Jingo
By Neddie Jingo, Jingo Neddie ho!

A fiddler's ditty in cobweb's maze
A stony hearth and emptied bellows
A pint of ale and drafts of stout
A jest well met with jesting fellows

Peals of laughter, drunken staggers
Up the roof on makeshift wings
Skyward goes the useless chatter
But ever is it fun to sing!

Cobbled from the finest oak
Soddered iron sparks the lingo
For your swag, you deathless hearty
Another song, By Neddie Jingo!
By Neddie
By Neddie Jingo
By Neddie Jingo, Jingo Neddie ho!
By Neddie
By Neddie Jingo
By Neddie Jingo ho!
By Neddie
By Neddie Jingo
By Neddie Jingo, Jingo Neddie ho!
By Neddie
By Neddie Jingo
By Neddie Jingo, Jingo Neddie ho!

+++

Sluggo said...

Thanks for your kind words of appreciation... it was nothing, really. They're too small for beer unless you have a keg tapped. Try single malt.

What I need to know is, does the Jam Pack come with a Cape Breton fiddle to use scoring the new Jingo shanty?

ycdzhu - a province of the mysterious and exotic Jingostan, thought to be the cradle of the vicodin trade.

Neddie said...

MJS-who-tracks-back-to-Jesus'-General...

Best...Comment...Evarrrrrr.......

Now regale us with one in that hybrid Japanese/Welsh form, the

htjqku