Wednesday, November 08, 2006

The Insidious Agenda of the Angry Left

I didn't last much past midnight last night watching the election returns, so I had some catching up to do this morning. Bouncing down the driveway in my truck, I switched on NPR just in time to catch Nancy Pelosi's haymaker to the chin -- in one brief sentence confirming everything the lantern-jawed Defenders of Freedom at Little Green Footballs have been howling about San Francisco Liberals:
"The campaign is over. Democrats are ready to lead. Mr. President, we need a nude erection in Iraq. Let us work together to find a solution."
Say what? A nude erection? Oh my whistling Jesus -- what have I voted for?

I just don't think that's a good idea! You retake the House and maybe even the Senate, and you start pushing your pornographic gay agenda the very next day?

Let some time elapse, Madame Speaker-Presumptive!

But it didn't end there! Not a few minutes later, I heard Sen-Elect Bob Casey declaring victory over Rick "That Frothy Mix" Santorum, and he did it again!:

"Tonight, I believe in my heart that Pennsylvania is where the nude erection for America is beginning..."

As I say, this was radio, so I can only imagine the visual that must have accompanied this mortifying declaration.

Guys, this is not cool! Yeah, maybe a raging ten-foot hogan is just what America needs, but you've gotta soft-peddle that kinda talk at least until you're sworn in!

And quit being so smug! You won an off-year erection! That's not so hard!

-----

Turning to humor perpetrated by actual competent professionals, I took Wondie and Freddie to see the Borat movie last night. I thought I was going to cough up a vertebra -- this movie is absolutely fuckin' relentlessly funny. Mercilessly funny. Oh Em Eff Gee it's funny. I'm not going to publish any spoilers, but there's a scene involving a fight in a hotel room that spills out into a Realtors Convention that I quite seriously thought I wasn't going to survive. Noises were coming out of me that should have alerted the medical authorities to come running with a defibrillator.

That said, I have to confess I was a little uncomfortable having brought the boy along. Yes, he's thirteen going on twenty-two, a young man of the world and nobody's idea of innocent, but it's just a little off-putting to be howling at sex-toy humor with your son at your elbow. Even if the joke's at the expense of Alan Keyes.

6 comments:

glue birl said...

Did you hear?

Now the Pentagon is going with a nude erection, too!

Neddie said...

Hit Reload, kid.

Fred Wickham said...

Sascha Baron Cohen is hard to beat. After seeing "Borat", I tuned in to the HBO "Da Ali G Show" marathon -- just for a break from election runup news. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. He's making a movie now about his gay fashionista character, "Bruno". Also, thanks for alerting me to the nude erection. About time.

Akatabi said...

Hope this thread isn't too stale-

My embarrassing movie moment was on a college break when I went with my parents to see the Italian import Swept Away and the sophisticated city woman gets marooned on a desert island and hooks up with resident Nature-boy and says, in Italian with English subtitles, "Sodomize me!" and Caliban/Friday just has a blank look on his face.

Anyway, Neddie, glad to see the news has hyped you up and cured your Blogenschmerz.

H. Rumbold, Master Barber

jamesfinngarner said...

Santorum is a "frothy mix"?

What, like Swiss Miss?

Kevin said...

James F-G, google "santorum"; for extra specificity, google "santorum" and "frothy mix."