Friday, November 10, 2006

"She's Leading the Team in the Northeast"

This guy shows no signs of actually being falling-down, weeping drunk. Which pretty much removes his only excuse.


roxtar said...

One bank
One card.
Singing about finance
Makes me hard.

We'll live out our core values
While the competition crawls
We'll give you a toaster
And kick BankOne in the balls.

That's gold, Neddie, GOLD!

Blowing Shit Up With Gas said...

Good God! Back in '95, the CEO retired from my employer (Aspen Publishers). They gave all of us a half day off, rented out banquet center in Gaithersburg, and put on a formal tribute -- including many skits, video vignettes by various VPs (nice alliteration, eh?), and a similarly fervent performance from some wank in sales. In that case, it was based on Hootie & the Blowfish's feel-good hit, "Only Wanne Be With You." This "One Bank" one was better, though. Damn, it'd be great to compile a collection of such performances!

As a side note, I recall that HR got wind of the video presentations prior to the show and demanded a chance to review them for appropriateness. Apparently, one VP staged a mock interview of himself in the company shower (yes, we had a corporate locker room). The interviewer asked the VP if he was going to miss the CEO -- at which point the VP drops the soap, bends over, straightens up, and then reportedly says something like, "I'll miss him more than you'll know." That one, not surprisingly, didn't make the cut.

bark said...

If that was what it was like in the days of the IBM Songbook, I pity our forebears all the more. An example of what I mean:

I. B. M., Happy men, smiling all the way.
Oh what fun it is to sell our products night and day.
I. B. M., Watson men, partners of T. J.
In his service to mankind - that’s why we are so gay.

glue birl said...

Oh my God....

I can't even comment I'm laughing so hard. I've never seen anything quite like that before...

I've never worked at a *real* company -- only advertising agencies. And I know you guys hate advertising, but they're full of creative people *just like you all* -- anyway... you just don't see that sort of thing at an ad agency.

...I've never seen such behavior! And a standing ovation even!


...and a similarly fervent performance from some wank in sales.

Oh my God...

Employee of the Month said...

Forget painting, I want to go into banking!

XTCfan said...

Aw, you're all just jealous. I bet he banged that hot secretary from Accounts Receivable after the show...

Matt said...

I think that this is guerrilla marketing -- a fake! -- consciously put out there in the hope that people will post it. . . you're laughing, but you're also hearing "Not Capital One," "MBNA" "MBNA" . . .

Jill said...

Neddie, where do you find this stuff? Cars, MBNA (a B-list credit card company), and B of A? U2? So sincere, so mortifying, so bad, so funny.

I posted it on my own blog Cambium Creative's Blog.

We've got a client with a dealer meeting in January, and if we bastardize an otherwise great song, shoot me at dawn. In the head.

Bobby Lightfoot said...

If Boner sang these lyrics at least U2 would be as honest as their presskit would have us believe.

Deal with this: guy's happier than you and me.

glue birl said...

Deal with this: guy's happier than you and me.

I've been thinking about that. Is he? You know, this guy can sort of sing. Which means he's got at least *one* creative bone in his body.

If he knows he's got that creative bone (no comments from the peanut gallery!) does he know he's given up? If so, how happy can he be all that happy? The only way he is is that he never knew he could sing to begin with.

That's my Psychoanalysis Class 101 for the night.


Neddie said...

I think the word we're all groping for here is bathos.

I'd intended to write a little essay about how many rock-and-roll rules were being broken by this putz, but I got lazy and just posted what I posted.

One of these rules is that anything sung passionately by a guy wearing those awful, hideously unflattering off-the-rack suit-pants that guys in that industry are forced to wear, is going to be automatically ridiculous.

And yes, he's got a halfway decent voice, but it's also pretty plain that he's not really singing so much as doing Bono. I don't think "Has he given up?" is the right question; the better one is, "Is he so utterly out-of-touch with what might be considered cool that he'd stand up in front of an audience in those pants and do what amounts to a Karaoke impression of his annoyingly Messianic hero -- with utterly ludicrously altered lyrics -- to a crowd of people so thoroughly uncool that they'd actually give his thoroughly bathetic act a Standing O instead of hooting him out of the room?"

And the answer is, apparently, Yes.

Another rule: You'd better goddamned know when you're being funny.