I stand before you a motherfucking gardener!
Those goddamned tomatoes never knew what hit 'em.
The fine print on that shovel's handle sez "Safety SleeveTM is guaranteed to prevent fiberglass from splitting."
Guess Safety SleeveTM never came up against Short Hill rocks and Neddie Jingo willpower.
You talkin' to me, shovel? You talkin' to me? Well I'm the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?
9 comments:
Ooh! You must be sooooo muskly, Ned! I'm all aflutter! My dog broke my Dyson vacuum cleaner with his hair, but he didn't have to work very hard at it.
By the way, you're tagged. She made me do it, I swear.
Come on, Ned. Fess up. Whose head's been busted?
When I first saw the photo, I figured Jeddie accidentally whacked himself on top of the head with it.
Who knew gardening was a contact sport? Must be something they put in that hip joint.
The victim was a particularly recalcitrant woodland hydrangea that I was planting next to the screened porch. The ground was rocky, the shovel was old, and I was in a particularly manly mood.
No, this time, GB, I was actually able to avoid smacking myself over the head with it. But do you know, I stepped on that same goddamned rake again on Sunday? This time it was hiding in the grass (where I'd put it, of course) -- whack, up it came. Got my shoulder this time.
When I first saw the photo, I figured Jeddie accidentally whacked himself on top of the head with it.
Or, locked up together in the shed, the shovel was flat-weeded by your rampaging rake.
Well in defense of the manufacturer it really did not split, it sheared.
I too like to think the rake had something to do with it.
Hey, diddle diddle, I sizzle fo'shizzle,
The rake did away with the spade.
But do you know, I stepped on that same goddamned rake again on Sunday?
There's an old saying in Tennessee -- I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee -- that says, fool me once, shame on -- shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again!
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