Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Long Weekend Roundup
FUH1, actually, today. An excellent score. How's that $3.75/gallon gas workin' for ya?
Hoo-WEE -- check out all them dead Republicans! Got your Haley Barbour right there, lying on top of Dick Cheney cheek by jowl with Condoleezza Rice who's making Trent Lott's life uncomfortable while Phyllis Schlafly crushes the life out of Jeb Bush....
That's Freddie Jingo offering a sense of scale to the five-foot-tall pile of weeds we pulled out of the vegetable beds and various flower beds around Jingo Acres this weekend. But given the marvelous human capacity for transference, that pile of pokeberry, wild strawberry, thistle and milkweed becomes an epic mount -- a Tower of Babel -- of rage, of Channeled Anger.
You want to fuck up the New Orleans rescue effort? [yank!] Aaaaaall right, [yank!] then, I've got your motherfuckin [yank!] blag-slabbering [yank!] slap-grabble right fuckin' here, [yank!] you pissant profiteer slap-flacking [yank!] cock-grapplin' namin'-to-FEMA-some-cushy-patronage-asshole-incompetent, glab-flagglers! George Bush Doesn't Care About Black People!!! [Yank!]
Jolly fun, and so soul-cleansing.
I reserve my tenderest thoughts, though, for this guy (via Wolcott). Ach, du lieber Gott what a spectacular asshole. What a ripe, febrile, incandescent, well-lit asshole, caulked to the brim with healthful and delicious lime! You simply must spend some leisure time perusing his Take on Reality: "Crypto-Fascist" only begins to describe the wares on display; what you got here is a Comment-editing True Believer. Prick him and he doth bleed. I'd heartily recommend the prickage. Mercy sakes, is he entertaining!
Christ on a unicycle with a tray of martinis, I ask you: someone actually looked at this graphic and thought to himself: Fuck me, what a great header that would make for my blog!
This man has never been laid in his life.
He may actually have fucked something; he may once have buried his barely tensile tallywacker in something soft and wet; he may well have sired some terribly unfortunate progeny somewhere -- but he has never once in his cobwebby life made love to anything. Not so much as a brick wall with a hole drilled in it. Dear God, what a self-important, pompous, pompous, pompous asshole.