Saturday, September 03, 2005

Smokin' Hot Mantis Porn

While out in the garden today, slaughtering an enormous pile of cocksuckin' Republican weeds (photo posted tomorrow; quite an impressive pile!), I noticed that my asparagus ferns, once liberated from the creepers that had overwhelmed them, harbored a rather impressive number of praying mantises. Out of concern for the public weal I would not ordinarily call attention to the licentiousness on display, but the thoroughly unChristian lubricity of these creatures needs to be pointed out.



The female's head turned toward me just as I focused the picture as if to say, "What the fuck are you looking at, pervert?"

I kinda wanted to warn the dude about some of the stories I'd heard about postcoital moodiness among the females of his species, but you know what? If getting laid means she's gonna bite your head off, I kinda think it's worth it....

I mean, speaking entirely as a male, you understand....

6 comments:

Neil Shakespeare said...

For Godssakes! Don't they have ANY respect for our President?! He's going through tough times! Failure after failure after failure is piling up on him, and these 'Mantii' have nothing better to do than fuck?! I thought they were 'praying' mantises! Tell them to stop fucking and start praying for our president! Oofda!

blue girl said...

Neil, LOL!!

Neddie, the female certainly does look like she's got major 'tude.

Bobby Lightfoot said...

Who do they remind me of?

They just keep on prayin' while they're getting fucked.

Matt said...

Last week, I found a praying mantis on top of a my car in a strip-mall parking lot. I got it onto a newspaper and carried it over to a grass median.

I felt the same penetrating stare you did when the mantis looked at me, even though the mantis I saw was not being penetrated at the time. I don't think I've ever felt before that an insect has appraised me with a stare the way that mantis did. It was a bit uncanny.

Anonymous said...

The adult female usually eats the male after or during mating. Mantid's sex
grasping response is incredibly rapid, so that you see it before it catches
the insect and when the insect is in its front legs. The motion is barely
a blur if it is perceived at all.
The compound eyes are capable of seeing images and colors. The three simple
eyes perhaps tell the differences between light and dark.. The simple eyes
are arranged in a triangle between the antennae. Compound eyes are made up of
hundreds of facets constructed with two lenses. These focus the light down a
light sensitive structures (rhabdome) which is connected to the optic nerve.

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