Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Other Shoe

The other shoe is about to drop from the Ass-Cancer Incident of last month. The Man with the Knife is comin' tomorry for that ass-cancer, and it's slice-a-ma-dice time for old Captain TMI.

I'm going to be laid up for a few days in a dreamy haze of painkillers. I think it's more than a little sick that I'm actually kind of looking forward to it.

The good news: I write real crazy on Vicodin.

(PS, friends and relatives: It's not actually ass-cancer. That's a gallows-humor deal. What it is, is just...


mrs packer said...

What?! A brrrrrr? Up your ass?! Unimaginable!

Or, is it perhaps a forgotten anal probe left behind by little green aliens in a hurry to make it to the 7:15pm screening of "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigilo"?

"Probe Jingo then let's get the hell outta here. I don't want to miss the previews."

Doug Mc. said...

NJ: "I write real crazy on Vicodin."

Oh boy..."Polyp, polyp. Fizz, fizz."


Sluggo said...

from http://f2.org/humour/songs/crs.html

"We praise the colorectal surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don't shine

Respect the colorectal surgeon
It's a calling few would crave
Lift up your hands and join us
Let's all do the finger wave

When it comes to spreading joy
There are many techniques
Some spread joy to the world
And others just spread cheeks
Some may think the cardiologist
Is their best friend
But the colorectal surgeon knows...
He'll get you in the end!

Why be a colorectal surgeon?
It's one of those mysterious things.
Is it because in that profession
There are always openings?

When I first met a colorectal surgeon
He did not quite understand;
I said, "Hey nice to meet you
But do you mind? We don't shake hands."

He sailed right through medical school
Because he was a whiz
Oh but he never thought of psychology
Though he read passages.
A doctor he wanted to be
For golf he loved to play,
But this is not quite what he meant...
By eighteen holes a day!

Praise the colorectal surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don't shine!"

blue girl said...

Good luck, Jeddie! Get well soon. :)

Kevin Wolf said...

Looking forward to both drug-induced and later posts...

Nobody said...

Hang in there Neddie - i didn't know you were ill! I'm sending my hopeful thoughts your way as you did to me. Get well soon, or at least get drugged up and writing so we can laugh...

I recommend one called Rivotril... it makes everything all Yellow Submarine, (even though the tablets are orange).

Anonymous said...

You'll still be able to wear those ass-pants, though?

Anonymous said...

Thinkin' about you, Ned. Hang in there old buddy! Anon

The Viscount LaCarte said...

When all is said and done, they'll say - "Good ole Ned. He took the neocon's dreams, and wrecked 'em!"

Take care and maybe they'll even give you your own radio show...

Anonymous said...

Enjoy those meds and be good to yer ass, darlin' Nedrick! :o)

Linkmeister said...

Lessee, for tonsillectomy there's Jello and mashed potatoes, so for this form of surgery...beanbag chairs?

Recover quickly, guy!

helmut said...

Hope you can sit up soon, as my sciatica-ass vicodinic-valiumaicality is fully unprepared to duel -- in the French gentlemen's fashion -- your ass-poppingly unprepared vicodinizationality. Yeah, like that.

Dopedly yours,

Tom / Helmut

Neil Shakespeare said...

Best of luck with it, Neddie. Sure don't sound like much fun.

XTCfan said...

Linkmeister, a beanbag chair up Neddie's ass?!? Something tells me he'd prefer the Jello and mashed potatoes...