Thursday, February 16, 2006


Taking a Winter Olympic Moment, here, tearing myself away from the bedheaded Canadian mimbo dressed up like a clove-studded apple curvetting about impersonating the Afternoon of a Faun. Given the uncustomary luxury of an idle moment I just popped into the Jingo Statcounter Account (because it's the sort of thing one does once in a while).

Turns out a Certain Someone who shall remain nameless (mostly due to the ineluctible truth that I have no idea of the person's name) arrived at the Friendly Confines of the Jingosphere through the sort of Google search that would turn a more jealous man than I a delicate shade of Kelly, Lincoln, or perhaps Bowling Green:

Why is everyone in the wine industry a pompous asshole?

Indeed. To such a Solomonic query one has no immediate, predigested answer -- but it gives me a quiet pride to note that on this bejeweled night By Neddie Jingo! is the fifth item on the list returned by Google.

This means, children, that if your personal list of Eternal Questions encompasses the pompous assholaciousness, the bombastic buttholery, rhetorical ringpieceitude, self-important starfishiness or imperious itchy-brown-eyedness of the world's purveyors of Bacchus' pride, then of the universe's experts I am numbered among the Top Five.

I am suffused with pride.

Now hush, children. They're restarting that engrossing event wherein six lithe mushroom-headed young men skate in single file, in perfect lockstep, each attempting to insert his face into the fundament of the fellow ahead. I don't know how one wins at this event, but I really don't want to think about the Sweet Taste of Victory.

I'm reminded of this halcyon album cover...


Matt said...

Like pilgrims to Delphi, approaching the shrine with burnt offerings and upturned palms, they seek our manifold wisdom. And humbly, we oblige.

Sluggo said...

chipmunks are go.

Kevin Wolf said...

This is so fucking funny I almost wet myself.

(Now let's see what type of search you turn up in next.)

Sluggo said...

this didn't find me high in the page rank, but it was a little unsettling to see.

I hope Maelle Ricker is ok.


The Viscount LaCarte said...

Reminds me of the scene from "Take The Money and Run" where the whole chain gang escapes and they end up at a farm house. When one needs the bathroom, they all have to go, and (I believe) Woody Allen says, "We're a close family...!"

XTCfan said...

Why Ned, those look like fit young ladies to me. I think the Taste of Victory could indeed be Sweet.

zbisbzn (what one hears while skating in single file)