Jesus what a horrible pun. Perhaps the worst I've ever perpetrated. Gosh, I hope the NFL doesn't come after me for using that Copyrighted Phrase.
A half-hour before kickoff, a few preliminaries while the fajitas blacken on the broiler. (I use the Chi-Chi's Fajitas for Two recipe from my favorite guilty pleasure, the Top Secret Recipes book.)
1) Steelers 27, Seahawks 24. Tomorrow's hed: "Twelfth Man wins it for Pittsburgh!" The Detroit crowd is estimated 90% Steelers fans, 5% Seahawks, 5% Abramoff clients on a last toot.
2) This year's Mortal Lock: Al Michaels will irritate the living poopie out of me.
3) This year's Wild Hair Prediction: During the Stones' set, a Hell's Angel, hired for security duty, will stab somebody on the field. Mick Jagger will implore the crowd, "Brothers and sisters! Please! Let's keep it together!" Together will fail to be kept by the assembled brothers and sisters. So much for the Woodstock Notion.
6:14: Best National Anthem Ever: Aaron Neville, Aretha Franklin and DOCTOR JOHN!!! The Night Tripper! Am reminded of a great headline in The Onion: Black Gospel Choir Makes Area Man Wish He Believed in All That God Shit.
7:15: Finished eating. 12:03 second quarter. I'm thinking Seattle Wants It More.
7:17: Sweet gadget play by Pittsburgh. god DAMN, this could change the actual fukkin' momentum! Or so John Madden ponitificates. Tool.
7:20: Intercepion Seattle. They Want It More, I'm telling you.
BTW: Rare Vos, Belgian-style amber, top-fermented, bottle-conditioned, sealed with cork. Out of Cooperstown, NY, slightly ironically. Tasty, tasty, tasty. Mmmm-MM!
You gotta go for the first down, Mike.
7:31: Pittsburgh's moving. Sweet shovel pass by Roethlisberger. Pass is dropped in the end zone by a person who will have nightmares about it for the rest iof his life. I am amused.
What is it about cheerleaders that make me think about sex? It's a mystery.
7:35: SERIOUSLY cool quarterbacking by Roethlisberger, for whose name I'm going to create a Keyboard Macro in a minute. Wow, that breaking-for-the-sideline move, followed by the tiptoe on the line of scrimmage, was one of the coolest moves I've ever seen on a football field.
7:40 Jerome Bettis sacrifices himself to clear the way for the QB Keeper. That ball did not cross the goal line.
7:43 BOOOOOOOOO! Bad call! Bad call!
8:02: Halftime. I'm changing my prediction. I'm liking Seattle, 21-17.
The first ad that caught my eye at all just went by: Promo for Lost, to Robert Palmer's "Addicted to Love.
Here come the Stones.... JESUS CHRIST, WHERE IS MICK TAYLOR????????
They've put in some fucking ringer in there! I think it's that creepazoid from The Faces who used to be in The Birds and the Artwoods -- Ronnie Wood! WHAT HAVE THEY DONE WITH MICK TAYLOR??????????????
I see Mick managed to mumble over the line, "You make a dead man come." Good for him. I'd hate for a dead man to come. That would be scary.
Oh dear god. I just saw Jaggerian ass-crack. RELEASE THE HOUNDS!
Macca was WAY better last year. That's all I'm gonna say on that.
8:32: Ooops! They certainly sprung Parker, didn't they. Dear me. Having done the math, I realize it's impossible for Seattle to score 21. Revised prediction: Seattle 24, Pittsburgh 17.
8:41: Good thing the Seattle kicker missed the field goal. It would have messed up my point spread. Still saying it: Seattle 24, Pittsburgh 17.
Sluggo: You're missing NOTHING on the Groundbreaking Commercials score. NOTHING.
8:49: OK, I might be coming off the Seattle prediction. A bit. Pittsburgh punches it in here, I might be willing to concede the game.
8:52: Ooohhhhhhhh-KAY!!!!!!!!! Watching Herndon run out of gas about the 20 after his interception, reminds me of the importance of not smoking on the sideline. SEATTLE TD: NEW GAME!!!!!!!!!!
8:59: Still looking for an answer re. Why cheerleaders make me think about sex. Weird.
That Lorne Michaels show might be funny.
9:07: Momentum turning Seattle's way. We've seen everything Roethlisberger's got. Punt, Pittsburgh.
9:15: Why am I so in the bag for Seattle? Because they beat the Redskins. It's nice to go through the off-season thinking that the Skins were knocked out of the postseason by the team that won the Super Bowl. Fair?
9:18: Seattle's going to win this game.
9:25: Even after the INT at the 5-yard-line and the ridiculous personal-foul call on Hasselbeck, Seattle's going to win this game. Pittsburgh has it, 3rd and two on the 49.
9:28: ARRRRRRGGGGHHHH! Beaten by the flea-flicker!!!!
9:34: Hasselbeck fumbled. If the zebras say he didn't, it will be highway robbery. OTOH, it's not like Seattle hasn't been getting screwed by zebras the whole game.
9:40: Zebras' call makes no difference. Seattle runs out of gas. Time may well be running out.
9:47: Pittsburgh hits the first down. Emag Revo.
Enjoyed it, gentlemen. Same time, next year?
10:00: This thing ain't over yet, it seems...
10:02: Now it's over. Enjoyed it!