Friday, November 11, 2005

That's What They WANT You to Think

Oh, ha ha.

Oh, ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Oh, I am just quaking with laughter. Excuse me while I split my sides.

Not.

Cleverdick "science" students, snickering into their Nutella sammidges and cocoa, think they've added to the annals of world humor by performing experiments that show that while the classic paranoid's tinfoil helmet does attenuate some frequencies of radio signal, it also boosts the signal of frequencies between 1.2 and 1.4 GHz, which have been allocated to the US Government for use in "radio location" (i.e., GPS positioning).

They sum up, "It requires no stretch of the imagination to conclude that the current helmet craze is likely to have been propagated by the Government, possibly with the involvement of the FCC. We hope this report will encourage the paranoid community to develop improved helmet designs to avoid falling prey to these shortcomings."

Well, [he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm] it looks like everything I know is just wrong, then, huh?

These young smartypantses from MIT have pretty obviously never actually had a genuinely paranoid thought in their short, clean-limbed & abstemious little lives. Take it from this expert, Paranoia is a damned sight more resilient than some punk-assed comedians in the EE Dept. give it credit for. Sez Lyle Zapato, who would know:
The "current helmet craze" may indeed have been propagated by government forces, but that has nothing to do with the effectiveness of AFDBs [Zapato hocks a line of Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanies] or their non-crazed use by sensible paranoids. It is a common MO of the NWO and allied conspirators to disingenuously promote that which they aspire to destroy. The current rise in joking references to AFDBs -- which is what Rahimi et al. are referring to by "the current helmet craze" -- is most likely a calculated ploy to scare off would be paranoids from the mental protection of foil. That the forces of mind control are bothering to do this is itself evidence of the effectiveness of AFDBs.
Duh.

3 comments:

Neddie said...

Just so's you know:

Zapato is a satirist.

gwzpf, excuse me!

XTCfan said...

My brain hurts.

ukvydjmt (see?)

An Upstep or a Downstep said...

Aluminum, in fact, suffers in the performance area. Hafnium's the ONLY way to go...