Sunday, April 16, 2006

Freddie Drops In



All the really great construction projects of history came in late and over budget. It's pretty much a requirement. The Eiffel Tower, the Empire State Building, Hoover Dam, Joan Rivers' face -- I bet quite a few of the hieroglyphics on the Great Pyramid of Giza, when Rosetta Stoned out, are actually just little satirical cartoons of a perplexed Cheops remonstrating fruitlessly with tiny little highly amused accountants and engineers.

That's why I don't regret the winterlong construction delay in Freddie's halfpipe. The plans called for a certain amount of plywood and two-by-fours, and if Daddy Pharaoh transposed the four sheets of 3/4 inch plywood and the 12 sheets of 3/8 inch, ending up with eight sheets of weathered too-thick plywood wintering over leaned up against the screened porch, well, that's Daddy Pharaoh's prerogative.

Be all that as it may, after several arduous double-overtime shifts, this weekend marked the Grand Opening of the Great Halfpipe of Cheops. In the photo above, Freddie is doing his first drop-in, testing out the camber and foot-feel of this marvelous construction project we carried out together. Doesn't the body-language of that kid just shout Look at me! I have the coolest Dad on the planet! We may ruefully note the absence of a couple of essential ingredients in the photo: No, the railings haven't been put on yet -- they're coming -- and Freddie isn't wearing a helmet or pads. But doesn't he just beam with pride, though!

Unfortunately, something else set his face alight about an hour after this photo was taken. Assaying his first Heelflip Sex Change (don't ask me), his normally goatlike footing slipped and he faceplanted hard. When the dust had cleared and the wailing subsided to a minor-key moan, his ankle began to swell pretty alarmingly, and off to the Emergency Room did we ollie.

Now, Alanis, is that ironic?

X-rays didn't show a fracture, but the poor kid's on crutches for at least ten days. Daddy Pharaoh wishes he'd built a nice, safe abattoir instead.

5 comments:

roxtar said...

Hey, hey, hey...nothin' beats fun! Especially if there is an ER visit involved!

For your next project, may I recommend a nice, safe, kid-friendly potato cannon!

He (and you) will be the envy of all the other cool kids (and dads) in the neighborhood! And you can't beat a spud gun for defense against rampaging hordes of andrqs...

blue girl said...

Can't wait to show my son the ramp thingy you built...I'll also be sure to tell the ER story. Oh yes I will. Not that he'll listen...

All the boys in our neighborhood hang out over here at blue girl's pad for some reason -- (could it be I'm the only sucker in the 'hood who lets them eat me out of house and home? Maybe.) and I'll go outside and they'll have put together an enormous death trap. Once they had lined up the picnic table and the benches -- so that they could skateboard off the table and down onto the benches. Ahhhh!

XTCfan said...

Tell me that boy isn't just filled the brim with your genes. When I first saw the picture, I was certain it was you. Seriously.

Bobby Lightfoot said...

XTCfan- speaking of Ned genes, maybe sometime he can tell you just how much of his youth he spent in leg casts.

XTCfan said...

So that's why you got all the family height, eh Bob?