Sunday, April 16, 2006
Freddie Drops In
All the really great construction projects of history came in late and over budget. It's pretty much a requirement. The Eiffel Tower, the Empire State Building, Hoover Dam, Joan Rivers' face -- I bet quite a few of the hieroglyphics on the Great Pyramid of Giza, when Rosetta Stoned out, are actually just little satirical cartoons of a perplexed Cheops remonstrating fruitlessly with tiny little highly amused accountants and engineers.
That's why I don't regret the winterlong construction delay in Freddie's halfpipe. The plans called for a certain amount of plywood and two-by-fours, and if Daddy Pharaoh transposed the four sheets of 3/4 inch plywood and the 12 sheets of 3/8 inch, ending up with eight sheets of weathered too-thick plywood wintering over leaned up against the screened porch, well, that's Daddy Pharaoh's prerogative.
Be all that as it may, after several arduous double-overtime shifts, this weekend marked the Grand Opening of the Great Halfpipe of Cheops. In the photo above, Freddie is doing his first drop-in, testing out the camber and foot-feel of this marvelous construction project we carried out together. Doesn't the body-language of that kid just shout Look at me! I have the coolest Dad on the planet! We may ruefully note the absence of a couple of essential ingredients in the photo: No, the railings haven't been put on yet -- they're coming -- and Freddie isn't wearing a helmet or pads. But doesn't he just beam with pride, though!
Unfortunately, something else set his face alight about an hour after this photo was taken. Assaying his first Heelflip Sex Change (don't ask me), his normally goatlike footing slipped and he faceplanted hard. When the dust had cleared and the wailing subsided to a minor-key moan, his ankle began to swell pretty alarmingly, and off to the Emergency Room did we ollie.
Now, Alanis, is that ironic?
X-rays didn't show a fracture, but the poor kid's on crutches for at least ten days. Daddy Pharaoh wishes he'd built a nice, safe abattoir instead.