Saturday, April 08, 2006

Unclean!



Chatter overheard between two clerks in a bookshop this afternoon.

"Ugh, I just can't shake this cold. I've had it for weeks, now."

"I bet I've been sicker than you."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Oh, yeah. Years ago, after my grandmother died, her place out near Winchester sorta went to hell. The barn collapsed, and so did the corn-crib. My dad wanted to sell the place, but first he wanted the collapsed buildings cleared, so buyers wouldn't be scared off. He sent me out with the truck and some tools. When I got there, I found out the corn-crib had been infested with rats for years--"

"Eww!"

"Oh, yeah. I had to clean out years' worth of rat corpses and droppings. It was a disgusting job, and a couple days later I got real, real sick, coughing up blood, high fever. I went to the hospital, and they freaked, 'cos I had the Plague."

"Get out!"

"No, for real. Isolation ward, Bubble Boy, the whole deal. Obviously I got better, but now whenever a doctor reads my medical history I can always tell when they get to that part of the story. They go real quiet."

3 comments:

Blue Wren said...

Oh, jeez! And there are rats that sound like they're the size of Scotty dogs cavorting around in our attic at night! I lay there listening to them, wondering when one will do a belly-dive into the insulation, hit a little too hard and drop right though the ceiling onto the bed.
Time for action.
Ewww.

Mike said...

Man, I thought Lyme disease was a bitch. I'm a wuss. Twice a day my temp would go to 103 (39.5c), I'd drink a starbuck's frapacino and it would go down. And I felt tired and sore the rest of the time. Oh, and my white count was 20k.

Just thinking about having the plague makes me all mlzvwy.

Derryl Murphy said...

Man, if I'd had the plague I'd get more mileage from it than just telling anecdotes to co-workers at a bookstore. And on Halloween I'd wear that cool outfit that physicians wore back in the middle ages, complete with the beak-like mask.

D