Ah, Scotty, source of so much fog,
Take a seat, have a gargle of grog.
It must have been a long, hard slog:
Not easy being a thrice-whipped dog.
Were you pushed or did you jump?
Dignity or garbage dump?
Did the landing raise a lump
Upon your secretarial rump?
Investigation's still ongoing:
It's a bitch, this never knowing.